I am not sure how long those article links will be good but you can request copies from the Wild Frontier office or find more current articles through an internet search. The idea of the homework was to help parents identify some with their teen's homework and to put their minds in the right mindset about our discussion for the parent meeting.

At the parent meeting:

1. For the start of the parent meeting at every place setting I had a copy of the chapter "Just Accept It--I'm Not Going to Harvard" from the book, Breaking the Code, which is a book written by two teen girls. This chapter is written for parents to handle the homework and school arguments better. Pretty clever stuff and a great resource for you to give to your parents. On top of that was a picture from the cover of the book, Overachiever. This is a powerful picture of today's affluent teen. With some photoshopping, you can work with this picture.

2. After the parents have taken their seats, I referred to the picture and said "This is a picture of our youth group members. And I'm worried." Pause for effect.

3. Then I added this quote taken from www.twoweeksback.com from a student to let a teacher know about his stress: "We don't only have our class! We have a total of eight classes to worry about, a social life to juggle, and doing what our parents tell us to do every night, so I'm sorry if we don't absorb everything you are trying to teach us." I added, "This student didn't add in the stuff youth pastors want them to remember." Pause for effect.

4. Then I added this quote from the book, The Price of Privilege, from Madeline Levine, a renowned teen psychologist: "We pour time, attention, and money into insuring their (our children) performance, consistently making it to their soccer game while inconsistently making it to the dinner table." I added, "No one in this group neglects the family dinner (it is true with my youth group parents) but you get the message."

5. I ask them to look back at the picture. I drew a Bible onto what is already heaped upon the girl's back. I said, "My role is to try to fit the Bible in there." I also summarized the established role the youth ministry has been set up to play in the parents' lives. This is a pretty powerful visual.

6. I added, "This picture is from the book, The Overachievers. (Recommended reading) Due to ‘No Child Left Behind' school is not like it was ten years ago. I just want you to realize that you have no point of reference to how school is for your teen." Add that this is not a forum to complain about school and you will have to be on guard that this doesn't happen. It's an easy slippery slope for which you have no answers for nor are you in the school system to defend or criticize.

7. I added, "Let's talk about the homework I assigned." Let the discussion happen with using these questions or comments to keep it on point:

• a. Are our youth enjoying their youth?
• b. Today's youth have multiple expectations and no discernment to know about the pressure--this is what they know because they have not put on adult minds which tell them other perspectives.
• c. Important aspects of adolescent development that all teens need to go through: experiment with different things; learn how to fail; learn how to develop a repertoire of responses to challenges.
• d. A quote from the chapter from Hurt, "They want regular contact with adults who care and respect them."

8. From the discussion together make up a plan as to how the youth ministry can be more effective and not burdensome to the youth. Brainstorm together. Write all the various ideas down. Take all the various ideas and give them to the parents so that you and they can pray about them over the next month or so. Then implement the changes that will have come from you, the parents, and through prayer.